Today we are honored to feature a very special Guest Writer: Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones. (Soon to be featured in an upcoming major motion picture!)
The year was 1936, and I was contacted by an old friend to search for a missing piece of an ancient Egyptian artifact. I accepted the challenge by donning my signature fedora and leather jacket. Next, of course, my tools of the trade: whip and sidearm, just in case some crazy sword wielding guy wants a showdown in the middle of the open air market. Markets can be sandy, you know, so I brought extra socks, too.
Next was the plane ride, which took shorter than expected, at the most 5-8 seconds, represented by a map of the world with a plane icon travelling over it, with the necessary red line extending out from behind the plane to show my flight path. Also, there was 'exciting' background music to prepare me for the next scene, I mean, adventure. I really don't remember the actual landing, because there I was, just automatically at the airport!
I then met up with a 'companion', in this case, (as in most) it was an American woman in a foreign country, which in the 30's was kind of rare, but at least she wasn't a double agent this time. She made my trip to Egypt harder than it had to be, but in all honesty, we really had a connection, and she even accidentally helped me figure out of a couple of ancient pyramid riddles. I don't really want to talk about the part with the snakes.
Eventually I found myself in this huge deepening plot, and instead of just trying to locate an artifact, I was saving the world from ultimate doom and destruction! Singlehandedly, (ok, I had some help!) Indiana Jones went far above and beyond anyone's expectations, and really came through this time. And yes, I am referring to myself in the third person, because by the time the end credits came up, everyone was cheering for me, and I had a smile on my face bigger than Han Solo's at the end of Star Wars.